June 4, 2006
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(In the absense of internet I jus wrote on my sidekick and transferred it ova)
June 4th 12:25am
Tonight I was led to a path of reflection & inner thought like none other & it was astonishing.I looked back at a lot……the good times…..the bad ones. People who strongly affected my life & people who did minor corrections that still impact me till this day.Its weird 2 think but the closer I get 2 starting my legacy of adulthood the more I realize that possibility of me being placed on this earth 4 something more than self appeals to me and intrigues me.I struggle on the regular why I don’t “fit in” like I wanna & even more why I’m such a “socialite” yet such an introvert at times….
Me,curt,Chris & landon went 2 see V for Vendetta which is now officially my fav. Movie.This movie hit so close 2 home jus cause its so realistically possible in almost every aspect.Its scary 2 think but true none the less & what makes the story even hotter is the simple fact that the moral could just as well be a slogan for life.I really feel inspired 2 live to the fullest no matter what jus 4 the simple fact the way the world is goin these days I couldn’t see any logical reason not 2.I swear this would be twice as long but I’m tired so ill jus talk 2ya 2morra
Davy~
June 4 1:04am
After tryin 2 sleep for last 20 mins oddly enough I can’t.I feel indifferent all of a sudden….about what lord knows.Life is good & god is great so I really can’t figure out the problem so I guess Ill write until I can fall asleep…I am in no physical pain or anguish so apperently internally I am hurting because I suddenly find myself in tears feeling weak at doughtfull.Why? I can’t complain & have no reason to even if I could for god is good….He brought curt in my life at a time when I needed a mentor,big brother of the sort & by time I knew I was a member of SPBC and Curts Right Hand Man.Its hard sometimes to live for the future when the past was so good cause as humans we tend reminese….I look around all the time & catch myself in a memory of a yesterday & many tiimes miss my opportunities to plan for tomorrow.I jus have a hard time copin with failing andfurthermore the sense of “regret”.I guess my true vendetta with the future is that I can’t drop the feeling that the past was better.What makes it even harder 2 adjust is I don’t have as many present or plentiful as ones from long ago.Iguess the only remody would be 2 live life to the fullest like before & await similar results.I feel myself driftting off & I really have 2 meet Talina in the morn for church so I’m officially MIA this evening…
June 4th 155Pm
Church was EXCELLANT.I definitly can agree with self growth & encouragement.I called love earlier but no answer so I guess she was busy…..Its weird cause slowly but steadily we’ve began to stop communicating.Not jus “talkin” but how we speak & interpret eachother is jus weird nowadays.I the goodtimes are few and between 4now….I had a long talk with Talina 2day.I’m glad we’re close cause her,Ray,curt and doug are the ones that have held me and kept me close the last 2years.As each day gets closer 4me 2 leave I realize how people and things in general are changing aroun me.I wonder is it me?Many things in life remain unclear until the aftermath and sometimes even further down the road.I guess the old saying “hindsight is 20/20″ couldn’t be more true.I guess Ill eat & chill until I gotta bowl so until 2night goodbye…..
