May 4, 2009
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All The Above
Besides being 1 hell of a song (in opinion) that seems like an appropriate title for this session. Today didn’t start any different than the past few days home…. a lake awakening. Me and Talina finally made the time to get together. Like myself, she found out her (tattoo) artist has changed locations so we substituted artistic scarring with dinner and a movie lol….thats when it began. Me and T ALWAYS have good conversation but I didn’t realize until after the fact that i’ve been deprived of a neutral source of energy so long. No disrespect intended but me and Bena barely speak, me and Shaunda have hard enough time saying Hi & Bye and everyone else is either Married, Pregnant or Unreachable. It helped alot to beable to vent, explain my thoughts, feelings, emotions and cares to someone who was craving to the same thing. Long convo short, NO BACK TRACKING. Gotta stay busy for self, cause no one else will haha. If someone wants to know whats up they’ll ask, if they don’t they’ll just assume anyways. So afterwards we saw the soloist. AN EXCELLANT MOVIE to say the least. Jamie Foxx plays a violinist who is voluntarily homeless in the Greater Los Angelos downtown. Long Story short who just loves Music….classical to be specific. He loves it so much it the only thing that can control him to the point of “human understanding”. The columnist spends time trying to “cure” him but ultimatly realizes some things can’t be cured, only cared after. Its crazy cause we pass people everyday not knowing they’re story, potention or position in this puzzle of life. Even crazier we go on everyday doughting, fighting or even worse, IGNORING our own potential as people. I’ve found that this isn’t healthy nore is it recommended. Greatness starts from within and with that said its time to let it out. Thursday I got another tattoo….my most meaningful to date.
Its a Koi Fish on my left rib cage. It was a gift from my old and dear friend Andrea….she means alot. She’s been through alot in her 20 years, just like any other youth but I actually care pertaining to her so its good to know our time spent was stress free and enjoyable. When asked why I simply stated I wanted “art”, and this is true to an extent. In Japanese culture Koi are denote Love and Friendship. For me it’s a permenant and painful reminder to keep these close yet in control. I already have an idea for my next addition but it will wait until I can get settled in Okinawa.
Did I mention I leave this weekend!? YES….FINALLY. Long awaiting of my arrival i’m SURE lol but it’ll definitly be an experience and an adventure. Its a small island with a alot of potential for growth….But Back to Today!
So Talina asks me what are my plans for the future and I simply explain my dream about Greece and all that. She then ask about family, and i reply “what about them?” She brings up a point that she works at a home for the elderly and it sucks for the residents with 1 or no children. To this I day I tell Penny not to expect Grand Children but who am I to leave my assets, empire and expression to? Much more on my mind but my thoughts are scrambled and inconsitant beyond belief so I guess I’ll end with this.Its CLEARLY a problem everyone has moved on accept me with certain aspects and expectations of relations. In my defense its hard not to when i’m home. Until then I’ll continue to bite my tongue so everytime I eat its a bitter and annoying reminder…
“Don’t listen to close they’re words are like guns, with bullets that fly and kill what you’ve won”
