I tasted a cup of the bittersweet potion known as love….once again.I didn’t catch the wave,matter afact I wasn’t even able to get in the water but it doesn’t look the beach is goin anywhere anytime soon.I realized somethin I had learned in Europe but didn’t apply to home until now….trust people as far as u can throw em and assume every1 is overweight and obese until proven otherwise.Don’t deal with those who run and rely on broken promised and incomplete memories.Temptation is only as powerful as you let it become…..you are powerful beyond measure. Get 1 tattoo at a time LoL.Enjoy life no matter what….Sadness and heartache is always aroun the corner anyway.I never knew how alotta people felt about me till this go aroun…it feels good be loved and appreciated even if its only temporary.”I save emotion for only those that are close to me or in my circle to help me stay strong and focused…..it helps business but intern when I begin to feel or care for someone/somethingI do so pretty hard cause I’m an emotional being whether I like it or not.”For the Record Parents are a whole lot cooler and understanding when your older.Granparents are even cooler and u realize there not as “nice” as you think they but love them none the less LoL.Blood is only thicker than water if your not divided by false barriers so it helps if the relationships are “anemic”.Peope care a lot when you think they don’t at all…Don’t 4get where you came from or where your goin…And Smile when all else fails.Sure I forgot a lot but these are the highlights I feel Now…Time to enjoy my last couple of hours

P.S. Just because I feel alone or find my self alone a lot doesn’t mean I’m ment to be that way indefinitly,it just makes me appreciate more when I’m together with those I care for most.I Love,I Live, I Learn, I Feell…

Yurp jus got 3more,I’m an official thug now LoL…I see a Tsunami coming soon…Guess I gotta ride the wave ya Dig!? Fuck that depression shit…I’ll cry when I’m alone.For now I live and Smile

P.S. Pics comin soon

So again I write….I REALLY had intentions to go to church this morning but I didn’t fall asleep till 6or so,hence me oversleeping LoL.Day go to a slo start really but I can’t complain.I was hoping She would call today but I kno she’s busy and was definitly at church LoL.By time I actually was showered and dress its damn near 530 so me and my parents commit to goin to the movies at 730(transformers).I stopped thru to see ray,Tiff, Eric and the Kids….Everythings good.Also saw some old friends at Applebees.I get to the movies and it starts out in Qatar…a place I’m somewhat familiar with due to military set-ups thruout the area.Ironically my mother ask me “does it bother me to watch the movie”.I said no but its cool how she picked up on how it could make me feel uncomfortable.In actuality it did bother me slightly…for what reason I couldn’t tell you.In actuality its been one of the top 5things on my mind the last 48hours….but all in all it was a great movie.Even better afterwords I head to Ericas house and watch even more movies LoL.Also got to see some of the homies 1 last time.And Now I’m here…..a semi-park jus west of churchhill with a great overlook of the city with picnic tables and a gorgeous fountain.Its not the 1st time I’ve come out here to write but usually its to just get away or to think….All my worries,doughts and fears seem to lift into the air here….I just smile and thank God for all he’s bestowed upon me….Guess ill just let the moment take me in until I’m ready to leave……Yet I remain sleepless. I’m also excited because ill be getting atleast 1more tattoo 2morrow so I look forward to it.Ciao~

Its now 315 or so and I’ve just returned home….The last week or so has been a complete blast and I’m so glad I’ve been able to see everyone and enjoy some downtime.I’ll apolagize in advance if from now on if u see me I won’t be the same….but why should I?I mean I’m Not.I’m not the same guy anymore….no matter how you put it…so STOP expecting that from me.You keep asking me whats wrong and swear you want me to “vent” like that will actually help anything but it won’t.IRAQ is were i’m goin,tell momma i’ll be gone till november and pray thats all I ask….How I feel and what do i expect have nothing to do with it and will not make anything any easier on me….Hate to be rude about it but your counting down days back to school while somedays I feel like i’m counting down to my death…Extreme?! Yeh…Maybe its not the serious but in actuality it is.I’ll be forced to wear damn near 50pounds of bulletbrook gear and water source in 110+ degree weather while you complain about over taning so don’t talk to me like we’re alike because we’re not.Yes I signed up for this but All i’m saying is doesn’t make things any easier…Then THEY won’t get out my mind…like seriously.She won’t but its cool,but weird….Like its worst than the 1st time and the 1st time was pretty bad lol.But hopefully we’ll talk 2morrow.She doesn’t realize its over…like she shitted on me twice and i’ll be damned if theres a third.I guess somehow me and Talina as well as others are officially growing apart whether we like it or not.I’d like to say I tried to mend and get together on the matter but to no avail…..by time she’s ready to talk I’ll be GOne….FUCK I feel so stupid in 3second intervals on some automated traffic signal shit…. like why did I do this to self but then i think of my “cause”, my “country” and my “contribuation” but It seems I’ve lost alot…ALOT to get to a place where it seems things are still just as confusing,misguided and undependable….As my Uncle and my boss I guess i would expect a little more from Sam but you live and you learn…I’m prolly just trippen cause I realize its crunchtime/Shotime and theres not much else i can do about it so i guess I’m on my Nike shit…..Just Do it…

I’m Resting Now….Thoughts racing and my heart is smiling while its crying. My lungs arn’t working cause my Eyes are doin all the breathing around me….i don’t wanna leave….I KNEW I shouldn’t have returned cause something like this would happen but its twice as bad as I thought so now all i can try to do is do the right thing…..Thanks everyone who made this possible…

Yesterday was CRAZY.Not only did I find myself speechless momentarily but I actually was with the WHOLE gang yesterday in what will mostlikely never happen again LoL.We just did it up like good ol times,met up…chilled and whiled out but it was so fun.Definitly got me having second thoughts….but who could know what would have happened if I stayed. I wouldn’t be a man yet i don’t think…I wouldn’t have the views a stature I have on life as I do now….It doesn’t really matter,I just kno I had HELLA Fun! I know 1 thing for sure…Times is DEFINITLY changin when I’m driven home at 5am and Ray is in the Passenger seat dozin off lol

As always I’ve been busy as HELL but I’ve finally got a mini-vacation to hold me over….Currently I’m in Richmond VA and Loving every minute of it!Its weird to see all these old people and memories come rushing at me at once….cause its damn near overwhelming but me being the flyguy that I am sustains a my calm and cool lol…all except for one.One who’s been here longer than most people I’ve known….Period. Its crazy …..Its just Crazy. My dudes are definitly in full effect and its good to see everyone so I’m lovin it.7 Days left till I depart so ima Love everyminute of it Oh yeh….I havnt even BEGIN to speak on my emotions that have risen and fallen but I will say this is the best rollercoaster I’ve been on since the last time I was at KD….good stuff

I’ve come the reality or atleast the conclusion that in today’s society friendship and love are workds and relationships that are freely thrown aroun and upon people just because we’ve become complacent as people to the actual value and pure definition of the words. Why when you enjoy something with someone and become content or even happy with the situation love gets thrown in the equasion and before you know it your the “bad guy” because you don’t feel the same way. i feel its stupid…senseless cause it has become my belief that love is the last thing I expect nore want in a relationship at this point in my life cause real talk due to my career choices even if I wanted it not I would still end up love-less persay. I just challange the those lookin for happiness to live and simply continue to do the things that make you happy. I Shouldn’t have to label an emotion for someone just to prove their worth or my feelings and neither should it be the other way aroun.One thing I can say I’ve learned in germany is there is ALOT more to life than just getting by,sustaining or settling. When I return to the US permanently I’ll definitly have a better outlook and more outgoin approach to life and all the things aroun me.I’m glad I’m her cause i’m learning…growing even. Thanks to people like Yazzy,Linda, Glenn and my homies at the office I’ve been able to come out of my shell and be happy with where I am and not only that but make the best of it. 8 more days in the field smh. Till the next time….

 I sit humbled and silent as I meditate and take in “Memorial Day” the moment at. Being forced to Usher at a ceremony I wasn’t even supposed to attend prior I was brought on edge emotionally at the playing of the national anthem and singing of “America The Beautiful” by my sis Liz. Its crazy cause until now I’ve never actually felt proud to be a soldier,I was just content and satisfied with my decision. I’ve always prided myself for believing in something bigger than self but I never really considered serving my country as doin so till now.I’ve decided indefinitly that even If I just serve my time and get out I will take everymoment at its best and take as much as it as I can. I thank everyone who’s supported me and even better I thank those who didn’t cause in the end it only made me stronger. God Bless all who have given there lives for this cause(Country) and I pray for all those currently serving including self. Most importantly I pray for those soldiers to come cause everyone knows “It’s sometimes a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it”….I don’t know where I’ll end up within this career but hands down I’ve met some of the most incredible people period whether it be soldier or civilian and although fear,dought and depression often try to cloud my mind I can’t seem to stop smiling cause not only am I serving my country, I’m feeling my soul with experiences,people and places I mostlikely would never beable to go this early in my life. Today I celebrate Death, Life and all things to come

Another mini-memoir~

Another productive week in the Army…definitly glad to meet the weekend. Teusday I’m off to the field for 25 wonderful days smh Until my return….