If beauty were an organ I would choose the lung

there for everytime I saw her I would remain breathless….

and even when she’s out of sight, out of mind I still maneuver as if I have no breath left

out of my chest…….YES even better…YET [I'm] content as the old lady who feels her lungs collapsing yet grining similiar to Mona Lisa because she know’s 103 years earlier her mother felt similar anguish and happiness thru not death but Birth 

Love is pure and I invite it into my home like those who love me alike

and the adventure in finding its treasure makes me far more daring than any Indiana Jones looking for the Lost….

I Love, I Live, I Learn

It hurts when you realize actions speak louder than words and you look at yourself the past few weeks and all you hear is yourself…Blah.This enviroment is definitly the biggest catch 22 I’ve come accross since my decision to join the army. I’m strengthened thru self and few others but mentally I’ve began to get weak. I’m on a suicide dash with my back to the future and facing the past that molded me into the young-man I am today. I’m definitly excited to be back in the studio cause I get weird when I can’t express myself thru the music….I was damn near about to relapse after A.I.T. I’ve been busy as hell with work.Alotta preperation for transition has been goin.I’m dare say i’m worried but If I said I wasn’t I’d be lying cause this time next year I’ll be in the sandbox where the kids never play nice and when the streetlights come on I won’t be goin home  ….

On a happier note tho I smile inspite of cause July7th are comiin over!! I’m very excited….they are to. They have it in there heads that they jus gonna splurge but when they realize this Euro ain’t no punk they’ll realize why i’m still broke all the time lol Lately I been on the rebound i’d have to say, between my Wii and rapping my pockets still keep caking so I can’t complain.I’ve come to the conclusion where I’ve got a really hard time with moving forward from fond memories…like i stated earlier my backs to the future and with my face to the past. It was always conscious in my mind but It’s really hit me in Germany cause all I do i think of the “good ol days” with Heavyweight, the BP streetteam, even all the way back to lakeside lol and I wonder what happened to all that. One thing that hasn’t changed at all althought I’ve tried is Love…It still respects me to stay in forfront of everything I do just because that is who I am. I am love for others even when there is none for me. I feel myself emotional spread to thin at times cause I’m that dude who’s intelligent & goofy, serious yet comical and somewhat materialistic yet of substance so I guess I have so many condradictions with   people….cause often its me who contradicts self. It’ll be better with time I guess. Thanks for listening as always

Davy~

WOW….Its been TO long since we’ve spoken so I have much catching up to do.Well I’ve officially been in Germany since Dec.7th.Flew into Frankfurt,stayed 2days in Hanau & am currently Stationed in Wiesbaden. The life over here is so Diffrent but its strange cause many times I find myself feeling familiar,Like I’ve been here or belong here.I stayed with a good friend during X-mas & her bday was yesterday so me & the Fellas went to chill with at the Pub & EuroPalace.It was a nice night to begin with but it ended HORRIBLY with my closest friend here getting assaulted by these turkish bouncers & all I could do was beg them to stop in fear for my life & his. Backing up a lil during AIT Grandma mary passed….I couldn’t attend the funural(although on 4hours away) due to miscommunication on my Drill Sgt’s Pt.Earlier this week I find out my Aunt Dot has also passed.When I was 1st told I was in Frankfurt & jus fine with all that had happened.Later that week I think just the pent up energy of being away from home,being alone & being misunderstood jus all gathered & I had an emotional break down.It washumbling because as of Late I have been astray from God & at that moment it was like I was FORCED to come to him because no1 or no-thing could help me better,Period.Mentally & Emotionally I am a very stable person who usually if not always is intouch with what he feels but as of late my feelings toward that have seem to numb and dull.Nolonger is my song of self Melodic & flawless but for once I find it hard to keep in touch or even in tune. I miss people & long for the opportunity to re-do things that I kno I shouldn’t have done.But then I wise up & realize no woulda-shoulda-coulda’s lol. Me and my parents have grown closer than ever & I love it but now physically were farther apart then ever.Dare I speak it to any1 here but I also find myself longing for companionsip or atleast some1 to lean on.Regardless I still smile because I kno things could be so much worse & I’m still content, just not “happy”. The army as a job really isn’t that bad,PT Is good for my body & my confidence.Theres nothing like pushing your mind & body to the limits only to surpass and find a whole new horizen of physical and mental strength.Work is Work,I definitly WILL NOT have a desk job when I re-join the civilian world but for now “Paper Pushing” is what I’ll do.New Years I spent with a couple of friends in Berlin and it was AWESOME. The architecture,the scenery, the History…It was all incredible. Since then i’ve jus been taking things slow,I go out here & there but I ssee & feel my taste of “entertainment” growing because the club jus doesn’t cut it for me much anymore.I’m about to go eat but I’ll definitly be writing more so until the next entry be blessed & stay tru~

Soo about 6monthes ago I left with what I thought would be an ending but actually began somethin much more. To catch u up to speed I’ve completed Basic and AIT am currently on leave until I report to Germany which should be somewhere around Dec 6th. Me and my parents are GREAT. Me and Heavyweight are Great, FC couldn’t be better. The only lovely lady I hold close to my heart nowadays is my Mother for goodreasons. I’ve grown Im excited cause within the next 2days I’ll be gettin my tattoos I really shouldn’t be up right now cause I havn’t gone to sleep yet and its besides the point I actually gotta wake up in 2 hours or so.Until we meet again my unforgotten friend…SO MUCH to tell Yurp~

Officially my last Day as a regular “citizen” and i’m not feeling to bad at all.If I was gonna turn back or change my mind the time woulda been today but I stay faithful and stand strong that my decision will result in a positive outcome.Decon Green came thru today and prayed ova me and my family. I got an Official Cross!                  Its made from the same type of nails that they used to crucify Jesus and the fact that only 7(including me) people have them at SPBC I’m feelin somethin like a Star. Curt,Narkia and Tae accompanied and chilled wit me thruout the evening. Mont and Mayo came thru afterwards and now I’m here writing cause i’m WIDE AWAKE and definitly won’t be sleeping no time soon.Tiff came thru to say bye to me and The kids gave me hugs   Corie took me out to eat for lunch and we had a nice convo….I’ma try and catch some winks before it gets to late cause I’m tryna see Jennifer,Nelsha and Sara before I gotta go and lord knows who else I can catch up with. God is good and in control so I have no fear what so ever for my decision. I’m feelin like its game 7 and all i gotta do is close the deal so 9weeks from now thats what i’ll do Thanx for everyone who’s been here for me and thank everyone whose made this last week the success and enjoyment that it has.I’m happy This will mostlikely be my last entry for a while so until then be blessed,Be true….be YOU~

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Matta afact that would be an understatement…. but its crazy to think 48hours from now I won’t be here(as in richmond) and I definitly won’t be comin back no time soon.This is the 1st time I can attest to truly feeling a since of fear since I’ve made my decision but I have faith and trust all wil be well when its all said and done.Today was pretty productive for a sunday.Went to church and sat with my parents one last time and I saw Piglet today! She came to see me and that made me smile LoL. I wish I could seen her moms b4 I left but thats ok.Then I went to Glen allen and saw T and Ms.Ronda and went ova G’s house,They was cleanin and what not so I told them I’d hit em up on my way back aroun after I went bowling…SO i get to my league and tell me why they surpised me with a cake!!!  Everyone stood in line and shook my hand and wished me luck and I really was about to cry until I remembered i’m G lol. Bowlin went good and we won all 3 of our games and beat the other team by over 100 pins so it was a great day. Afterwards I went thru Ricks house to get their address and say my goodbye’s. Then I went thru T’s house again to talk wit James a lil.Thats my dude. On the way out I saw Kim and Karen so that was cool. Then I went to G’s house cause Momma made fried chicken (mmmm) Afterwards it was off to Shannons house so I could chill wit Pyro and the BlueBruster LoL. i saw the ending of “the Hills have Eyes” and definitly decided I won’t be goin to any hill dominated terrain no time soon Lol. the we went aroun Pyro’s way and chilled in the street doin what we do best.I swear me and Shannon had one of the most enlightening convo’s ever and I wish her luck in Everything she does cause she’s cool people 4sho

 I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve made a good decision but it hurts no less to leave everything and everyone not knowing where I will be this time next year but its all good.Lets jus stay positive and keep it moving…..Jus figured I’d write b4 I rest so until we speak again it ends…..

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Waddup world,Internet been down so its been a hot minute since the last entry but I can attest that all is well in the realm of the blessed and living(as usual). The past weekend was ok….Got to chill the FC,Ray and Geddy and Rick as well as others so it was fun filled lol.My independance day was pretty good….jus cook out hoped and went to Ms.Hicks house so we could try and set her lawn on fire but to no avvail did we succeed LoL.Jus re-did my myspace for the last time in a while so now I’m jus chillen. Figured I’d write since its been awhile but I’m not gonna talk ya head off so I’ll jus hit u up 2morra….

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(Cited from dictionary.com) The definition of ecstacy:

1. Intense joy or delight.
   
2. A state of emotion so intense that one is carried beyond rational thought and self-control: an ecstasy of rage.
   
3. The trance, frenzy, or rapture associated with mystic or prophetic exaltation.
   
4. Slang. MDMA

I WAS there this time 3monthes ago and now i’m wondering what happened….too bad dwelling on the past isn’t positive nore necessary so I’ll drop it and keep smiling….Today was LONG but productive.I’m pissed cause finishline didn’t get ANY business today and we released the 7s!!!! But its cool.Me and Pyro have gotten really close as of late(no homo).Definitly my right hand right about now and it makes it even better we both in the FC.We went aroun Varina yesterday and caught up with a few peoples and it was overall pretty fun,then we tripped at the house till about 2 hence I didn’t fall asleep till 3 but its all good LoL.Today Rick and Geedy came and saw me during break and it was very entertaining…Geeedy REALLY doesn’t want me to leave and although i’m almost 100% sure shes nowhere near the only one who does I’d have to admit she’s been the most vocal and upfront about it.She even threatended to stop eating unless I changed my mind but ofcourse I explained to her like the others before “u can’t be my friend if ur dead cause i’m not changin my mind” lol.I’ma get some rest tonight cause i’m TIRED so ill ttyl

14-Crunch Time

(Cited from dictionary.com) the term fear is defined as:

1. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension: a fear of looking foolish.
   
2. Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
   
3. A reason for dread or apprehension: Failure is my greatest fear.

(Cited from dictionary.com) the term spite is defined as:

1. Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.
   
2. An instance of malicious(deliberatly harmful) feeling.

Another productive day I gues….Caught up with Alotta people today including both my sisters so everythings good.I can’t complain….Well I could…but I won’t.Me and ray had a long talk about life and its awe and wonder LoL but it was actually a pretty good convo.I feel alotta people pulling towards me positivly and it feels good to kno I have someone on my side.Jus figured i’d write before I went to bed.i’m OFF tomorrow so we’ll see what I end up doin for the evening As always God is good and he reminds me of it everyday I wake with a smile….Till the next extry….

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(Sited from dictionary.com) The term friend is defined as:

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
   
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
   
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
   
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.

Although true at best this is another one of those words where peoples opinions and reason comes in to play when it comes down to the root of the person to decide what the word means to them.At its core this word is more contriversial in my opinion than love,lust,relationships,trust,or respect because all those are included with so much more when it comes to true friends.I’ve had my share off bad ones and the few that I have now barely fit on 2 hands but they know who they are.No need to name….If u’ve been ginuine and true then i’m talkin to u,if u havn’t then I apolagize we couldn’t make it work.A true friendship is grand in my eyes cause theres nothin like havin that person u can count on when times get good or bad.I swear the people that have been there for me are stickin out like soar thumbs now just cause I’m leavin and I realize who’s been here for me and who hasn’t…It hurts to know me and my mom are FINALLY gettin it right and i’m about to leave….hopefully this will sustain thru my endevors cause its funny u can live in a house with some1 for 18 years and still not know as much as u should about them but I guess thats jus life.Called love but I guess she was sleep or whateva so another night wit me and my music….Me and pyro chilled today and it was fun as usual…got to see my twin and also saw my homie kandace from middle school.Its crazy how we growin up but its neccesarry.I’m jus glad to see everyone doing something with there life.I really wanna chill wit people before I leave so hopefully i’ll be back on track finance wise next check(overdrafted father’s day weekend)I’m bout to rest cause I got to open the store in the morning but ill talk to you later fam~

P.S.I notice i’ve become more introverted personality wise but also I’ve become more positive so I’m not to sure if its growth,me maturing, or me jus preparing for the road to come.Either way I smile cause I have all will be well when the time is right and until then I’ma keep pushin!

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